There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
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dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
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