remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Actions speak louder than pants.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
