All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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