Whats the glycemic index on semen?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
