I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
