There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
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I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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