Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
