Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
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I just found puke in my bra..
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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