how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
