24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
