so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Randomize
