some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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