I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
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