im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
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he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
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he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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