I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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