I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
