I hope mine doesn't look like that
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
