bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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