i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
