it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
