so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.