yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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