They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
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I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
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Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.