with your own penis?
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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