I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I will pee on everything he values.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
