My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Randomize
