Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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