i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
