Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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