I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I have already put on my inside pants.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
