windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
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