I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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