Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
