So drunk its hurt
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
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Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM VODKA MAN
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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