Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
