STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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