And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
