But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
