the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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