Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Randomize