I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
