didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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