In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
