Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
