Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
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