My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
