It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
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