I hate your face
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
