Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
We have so much sex to catch up on
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
