did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
