Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
she told me i tasted like america
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
