I think my vagina is haunted
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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