Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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