Will you blow on my dice?
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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