Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Randomize
