Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
