this boner is exhausting
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Randomize
