I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
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