Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Just took my morning after pill in the library
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
