She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Is it penis luge time yet?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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