I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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