her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
