oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
