we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
