Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
