it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Randomize
